Why would she cut herself?

In the line of work in what we do at Defying Mental Illness, we come across people from all works of life.  People from different backgrounds, race, age, culture, are all in the wide spectrum of people challenged with mental illness.   Mental illness is indeed what says on the tin; it is an illness. 

So when people have questions such as ‘why would she cut herself?’, for example, it is a question that often makes no sense at all.

Those who are not directly impacted with mental illness seem to think that us ‘mental illness advocates’, seem to have as our defense certain scripts.  These scripts include  ‘Would you say to someone with diabetes, to snap out of it?’  Or ‘Would you ask why would she have diabetes?’ And so on.

The truth is as tiresome as these ‘scripts’ sound, they are the truth of general ignorance of mental illness.  As repetitive as they sound, they help to drive home a message.  As boring as they sound, they are worth learning.  Come on, most of us found one subject or the other boring in school, but nevertheless we had to learn it.  Today, we can appreciate those very boring subjects – well some of them, right?

As kids, we learnt by repetition.    Our parents read the same story to us over and over again, night after night, and we did not get bored.  Each time we heard that same story as kids, we were as excited as the first time.  This is because we were learning.  Learning construction of sentences, learning new words, learning new sounds. 

Likewise, there are some things in life that are repeated over and over again in order for us to learn.  Learn, learn, learn.  That is as simple as it gets.

So, if someone asks a question like ‘Why would she cut herself?’, it means that person is not ‘mental illness aware’ as they should be. 

We of course, understand why anyone would ask such a thing.  If each of us are honest, most of us have thought something along those lines at one point or the other.  ‘She comes from a good family’.  ‘She had a good education’.  ‘Her siblings are normal. It’s just her!’   ‘Her parents work hard…so why this?’  Isn’t it??

However, we need to know that there are some questions such as ‘Why would she cut herself?’ that are not useful or helpful in the least.  If such a question especially is from an accusatory standpoint instead of one that is looking for possible triggers, please stop today.

It is Mental Illness Awareness Week.  Family and friends can support those challenged with mental illness by being aware of the subject of mental illness.  Awareness is always the first step to helping our loved ones. 

Let us not isolate those challenged with mental illness with the wrong questions.  If we do not have the answers, lets not ask questions such as ‘Why would she cut herself?’ 

It is Mental Illness Awareness Week.  Please share this post to help create awareness.

Thank you!

About The Author

Zoe

Zoe met Eze (Chuck) in the 14th year of what turned out to be an 18 year ‘journey’ with mental illness. They got married less than a year of meeting with Zoe fully knowing Chuck had a diagnosis of mental illness. In the 18th year, Chuck defied the odds of mental illness. A consultant psychiatrist signed him off the mental health system with a bill of NO MENTAL ILLNESS. The consultant was so amazed by Chuck’s astonishing recovery that he even questioned how Chuck was diagnosed with mental illness all those years before, in the first place! Today Chuck is free from medication, its dependency and hospitalizations. Zoe’s award nominated book, DEFYING THE ODDS, chronicles the highs and ‘lows’ of this journey. Zoe, often writing from the standpoint of a caregiver, clearly understands that mental illness does not only affect an individual challenged with the disease, but also families, marriages and society as a whole.

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