Responses to Anger
I mused recently about anger that has been directed towards me in my lifetime. The ways that I respond to anger has changed over time. Anger is a key sign of disapproval. In my early years, anger directed towards me generally put me on the defensive. It was most often expressed in bullying.
In my later years, anger was often expressed verbally. Anger expressed towards me was often accompanied with the withdrawal of support. I learnt to respond less emotionally to anger expressed towards me. I would tell myself that there was a reason for anger expressed towards me. As I do not set out to anger people it must mean there are areas I am either challenged in communication or in understanding of what was required of me.
Here are few tips I learnt in dealing with anger towards me where I wanted to keep the relationship going;
1 Never interrupt the person expressing anger
When I protest my innocence of the reason for anger expressed towards me it always led to extended heated engagements. This not only extended the period of time the anger was expressed, I often failed to see the best way to solve whatever was the issue. Giving the other party room to fully express their position helps diffuse the situation. It have discovered it pays to acknowledge anger addressed at you.
2 Clarify what can be done to address the situation
Clarifying what can be done to address the situation firmly sets all parties on course towards finding a solution. Very often a lot of energy that can be better harnessed to finding solutions is channelled towards further fanning the flames of anger.
3 Agree responsibilities for outcomes
Agreeing responsibilities for future outcomes get the commitment from all parties for better relationships. When I have agreed my responsibilities for future actions I have found it easier to get the help I need to develop better relationships.
4 Follow through
Act on your agreements. Don’t procrastinate. Why leave for tomorrow what can be accomplished today? Acting on agreements gives you discipline and builds your integrity. There is always satisfaction in following things through.
5 Get feedback
Seeking feedback helps you to evaluate how you have performed. It reinforces your performance with other parties involved.
I have learnt anger directed to me in a personal manner. I always look on it however expressed as with the situation rather than with my person. That has helped me in dealing with anger more effectively.
How have you responded to anger directed at you? Please comment
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