When your Kid is a Cyberbully!

It must be one of the hardest things for any parent to realise and deal with, that their kid is a cyberbully.  That their kid is causing misery to another child or children and making their lives hell.

It would be wrong, very wrong to just ignore it and say, at least your kid is not the victim.  But that would be very dangerous.

Cyber bullying is increasingly becoming recognised as a serious offence of harassment, and if a victim dies, it can lead to prosecution.  It is therefore criminal in some countries.

It has been said that cyberbullies are as much victims as they are to the ones they are causing harm.  In some cases, cyberbullies have even taken their own life, dying by suicide.  

Therefore, this is a serious act and must be dealt with.  

Bullying is a learned behavior.  It is important that your kids have positive role models, and that as a parent you are not setting a wrong example to your children, even unintentionally.

If your kid is a cyberbully, you got to act NOW.  But before you do, you need to process your own feelings first.  You cannot respond in anger because you will not get much results.  You may need to talk to your pastor or counselor or someone you can trust in this matter.  You want your kid to listen but if you have to be calm and controlled and not over emotional.

Afterwards, you can employ the following tips:

1 Does your kid belong to a youth group perhaps in the church or school or a club?

 Maybe you can discuss what has happened with the youth leader.  Ask him or her if there have been any behavioural changes in your kid recently.  Your kid may have confided some issues they may be going through to their youth leader, that you may not be aware of.  Yes, remember as kids, you did not tell your parents everything!

2 Let your kids know that cyber bullying is wrong 

You can do this together with the youth leader.  Your kid may be more responsive to someone he or she ‘looks up to’.  Not, that they don’t look up to you, so don’t take it personally but they are at that stage in life.
Let them know there is nothing right or funny about it.  Cyber bullying hurts.  It ruins life.  It ruins the lives of the family members too.

3  Do they have any friend or do they belong to a clique that has a negative influence on them?  

They may be going along with cyber bullying not because they want to, but because they want to be accepted in their group.  
Consider limiting access to these friends.  Or moving your kid to another school.  Or speak to the parents of the kid involved, if the parent is receptive to do anything, that is!

4  It might be a good idea to limit use of technology with your kid for a while  

Prevention is better than cure.  If they continue doing what they are doing, it will soon get out of hand, and someone may get hurt…including themselves!

5   Bullies are often victims themselves

Find out if they are being bullied in any way.  It may not be they are being cyber bullied specifically, but it may be that they are indeed being harassed in another way.

6  Are your kids stressed?  

Are there any changes in your kids life that may be impacting them negatively e.g. a divorce, a death, change of home or school, sibling rivalry, etc?  Find out what may be affecting them.  Teach them how to deal with these stressful situations.  Get them into a hobby or something they enjoy doing.

7  Agree on planned changes 

It may again be a good idea to have a ‘mediator’ like the youth leader to oversee the process of change.

8  Get legal advice

Has your kid committed a criminal act with the cyber bullying?  If so, you may need to inform the police or get some legal advice.

9  Pray  

Of course, you knew I would say that especially if you are a Christian.  Never diminish the power of prayer and the positive effects it has on dealing with uncontrollable issues that take the wind out of you!  See our prayer page for some prayers and positive affirmations.

10  Have your own support

Remember to keep your pastor, counselor or support group involved with your emotional, mental and physical well being.    They may not be visible to your teen, but they are there to support you so you do not become discouraged too!

Help prevent cyber bullying by sharing this post in your social media.  Thank you.  It could save a life!

About The Author

Zoe

Zoe met Eze (Chuck) in the 14th year of what turned out to be an 18 year ‘journey’ with mental illness. They got married less than a year of meeting with Zoe fully knowing Chuck had a diagnosis of mental illness. In the 18th year, Chuck defied the odds of mental illness. A consultant psychiatrist signed him off the mental health system with a bill of NO MENTAL ILLNESS. The consultant was so amazed by Chuck’s astonishing recovery that he even questioned how Chuck was diagnosed with mental illness all those years before, in the first place! Today Chuck is free from medication, its dependency and hospitalizations. Zoe’s award nominated book, DEFYING THE ODDS, chronicles the highs and ‘lows’ of this journey. Zoe, often writing from the standpoint of a caregiver, clearly understands that mental illness does not only affect an individual challenged with the disease, but also families, marriages and society as a whole.

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