Life beyond Abuse – Is it possible at all?
April is recognized as Child Abuse Prevention Month. There is a very strong direct link between child abuse and mental illness, not surprisingly.
Childhood is meant to be a time of nurturing. When this is taken away from a child, in those fundamental years of life, there are scars that can cause lasting or even lifetime damage emotionally and mentally. But is there life beyond abuse?
An array of abuses
Joyce Meyer is one lady for whom I have a truckload of respect. This lady who appears to have it all together today, is a New York Bestseller and has written probably over 100 books and sold over 30 million copies. Her most popular books, Battlefield of the Mind, Power Thoughts, Beauty for Ashes, Approval Addiction, have been bestsellers. Her TV program, Enjoying Everyday Life, is seen by millions all over the world.
But Joyce has never concealed the fact that she was emotionally, sexually, physically and verbally abused by her controlling father. That is a whole array of abuses one person endured.
In one account I was reading about Joyce, she said there were some terrible things her father did that she cannot even say publicly. Joyce had to endure being raped by her own flesh and blood from the age of 18 before which she was sexually molested. One can only think that a young Joyce would have wondered if there would ever by any life beyond abuse at all?
Only our imagination can even give us a clue as the hell Joyce went through. Her mother, Joyce says, ‘abandoned’ her, not physically, but by pretending that she did not know what was going on.
A father’s role to a child is one of validation
When your own father invalidates you in such a cruel manner, life can be hard. As a result of her horrific childhood, Joyce felt a lot of shame. She craved love and looked for love in the wrong places. She could not wait to leave home, understandably.
Joyce married the first man who came along soon afterwards. This turned out to be a total disaster being further abused by her first husband. The trauma of her abuses resulted in Joyce suffering from complicated personality disorders. Joyce by her own mouth, admits she had a big chip on her shoulder, was controlling, manipulating and developed an approval addiction.
Finding her Purpose
Joyce gave her life to Jesus at 9 but was not committed in her faith. When Joyce was much older she had a profound calling to become a preacher. Today, she is world renowned for her matter of fact, down to earth preaching. Meeting her husband, Dave Meyer, brought about healing, and together they formed Joyce Meyer Ministry.
Life beyond Abuse – Getting over the pain
Although Joyce speaks a lot about her abuse in her messages, she does not do this even a tinge of bitterness, not even mentioning her father’s name! For one to protect his identity to this level, it shows the strength and power within her.
Though you can almost feel her emotions on the subject even though she speaks in a matter of fact manner, you can also sense genuine forgiveness and compassion. To most, forgiveness and compassion are a cocktail that is unthinkable.
However, Joyce Meyer’s message is simple and clear cut. Using the Word of God, Joyce rose above her pain, even not blaming her mother either for doing nothing, proving that one can step out and have a life beyond abuse.
Joyce baptized her father in front of several onlookers before he died! Not only that, she covered the cost of his upkeep. Read this extraordinary excerpt about her father:
… while he lay on a hospital bed weak and frail, he told her: “Joyce, I am sorry you feel I hurt you. But I still don’t understand what was so bad about what I did.”
Meyer says that with incredible sadness she left the hospital room not knowing if her father would live through the night and certain that if he died he’d go straight to hell. God told her that she was to move him close to her house and take care of him.
It was a very difficult act of obedience. Meyer’s husband, Dave, strongly disagreed with the plan, but it soon was confirmed that God had spoken to Joyce, and Dave agreed to follow His leading.
Every chance she got, Meyer showed her father she loved him. Every need he had, she met. She bought clothes and food and made sure all his basic needs were met.
One day, Meyer’s mother found him crying. He called Joyce, asking her and Dave to come over right away. When they arrived, he broke down in tears again.
“I am sorry for what I did to you. I have wanted to say this to you for a long time, but I didn’t have the guts,” he said. Then he looked at Dave and began to weep again. “Dave, I am sorry for what I did to you, too. I am sorry I hurt your wife. Please forgive me.”
Joyce Meyer’s message of hope teaches that no matter the trauma or mistakes in one’s life, God can indeed give beauty of ashes. That God can help and direct them to enjoy everyday life. Joyce indeed is living proof that there is life beyond abuse.
It is not over for you too…! There is indeed a life beyond abuse.
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