Moving from Suicide Awareness to Suicide Education
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. September 10 2016 is World Suicide Prevention Day.
The word Suicide was first used in the 17th century, round about 1650. So first of all, what is suicide?
In very simple terms, suicide is the act of deliberate not accidental killing.
People die by suicide as a last resort; often looking for an end to their pain. That pain may not be real or may not even be understood by you, but to that person it means the end of the world. That you dealt with something similar or even worse does not make how someone else is responding inferior.
Suicide rates are rising. According to WHO, suicide is the 15th leading cause of death. I read the other day that children as young as 10 are even considering suicide.
It is a sad state of affairs. We just got to do something and not think it is none of our business. It is our business and a serious business too. We got to work hard and we got to work together.
And we also need to go beyond just awareness. We need to get educated too. Yes there are different sets of people when it comes to suicide:
- Those that do not know that suicide occurs or know that people die by suicide but do not care so much
- Those that know that suicide happens. They are aware. They have seen the news. They know it is a problem but that is about it. Some may think that it will never happen to anyone they know therefore they do not need to know about suicide. (Well, even Jesus knew someone who died by suicide!).
- Those that are aware and are educated enough to spot signs, help someone who is not suicidal, yet but may be at risk, and/or even prevent a death by suicide or educate others who need to know!
We can all become the third category. We can start right now, right here, right on this platform…I have just two quick points on this today in becoming more educated.
##1 Let us stop thinking suicide only happens to a particular race, gender, class or culture
Suicide does not just happen to a particular gender, race, religion, culture, etc., etc. Granted, there may be higher rates in one group compared to another.
Many do not know that men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women, for example. Men may be brought up to believe that men do not cry. There are however higher incidents of suicide among men!
In African societies though, for example in Nigeria, women are more susceptible to mental illness than men. So thinking that being a Nigerian male makes suicide impossible, may be costly in ignoring any threats. The African male may think that by virtue of being black and having endured atrocities like slavery, war, apartheid, therefore means that life has taught them to be tough.
Read When Mental Illness Strikes A Black Man on MenTell Health
But these does not mean that suicide does not occur! Africans die by suicide just like anyone else. Often taboo in certain societies prevent reporting of these deaths.
Let us stop forcing our own expectations unto someone else. A successful businessman may be the last person you expect to die by suicide. However, let those expectations not cloud your thinking especially when you can spot the obvious signs.
Even pastors have been known to die by suicide. It is not for anyone to judge or make comment but to prevent deaths and restore life and hope back to the person as quickly as possible.
##2 Let us not be too casual about what people say
Suicide is a deliberate act. It often involves planning. Plans starts with thoughts. And these thoughts spill into emotions and behavior.
So when or if someone confides in you, don’t be quick to be dismissive.
Don’t tell a guy to ‘man up’. As people, we think it is not acceptable of manly for a man to talk about his feelings. We need to move away from this. Men do not go to others for help. This is why it is difficult to spot the signs of suicidal tendencies. Encourage openness.
Don’t tell anyone to ‘get over it’. I think we have all seen the comics of someone telling someone diagnosed with cancer to get over it. We all comment how ridiculous that sounds. So I do not need to labor further on this point.
Neither should Christians tell another Christian, they are just not holding on to their faith enough! Or that they must just go and pray, or are not praying or not praying enough. Why don’t you also pray for them too? While at the same time carrying out the practical steps too!
Yes prayer works, I am a strong advocate, and we even listed prayer as one of the ways to help someone who has suicidal thoughts. Prayer works because often you can’t be with someone 24 x 7, or you can’t stay awake forever checking on someone. So what can you do then? Watch and pray!
And studies does show that spirituality has positive effects on mental health. But DO NOT, again I repeat, DO NOT, use prayer as a guilt thing to silence someone’s genuine cry for help.
There are quite a few blogs and resources that we have written over time that educate on suicide. Let us familiarize ourselves with them.
Remember to watch out for the subtexts, the hidden clues, subtle signs… and take action. Remember people use words to camouflage depression, suicide and mental illness. Nervous breakdown, stress, overwork are some words common among black people. Africans will not use the ‘M.I.’ word. It is as if those two words got wedged in their teeth.
Read between the lines, please in all instances. And ring the hotline or call for help with the experts and professionals.
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